Angered Up In Blue

In a time of economic uncertainty and culture clash, one group of people have come to be used as a symbol across all mediums of discourse (but primarily in Facebook groups populated by conservative boomers) for people who want more than they’ve rightfully earned. We’re speaking of course of the blue-haired baristas with pronoun pins and visible tattoos.

You see posts about them all over social media any time issues involving workers’ rights come up. People say they’re not real workers and use them as examples of extreme leftism. Of course, rational people know this is just a caricature that embodies everything that certain groups fear about the younger generation in a changing world they’d like to stay the same. But why pick on blue-haired baristas with pronouns, tattoos, or nose rings?For answers we spoke with Julia Song, a blue-haired barista with a pronoun pin and visible tattoos.

Julia, I want to thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.Um, okay. What can I get for you?It seems that some people out there think that baristas with blue hair, tattoos, and pronouns are a symbol of a generation that wants more than what they’ve earned. What do you have to say to that?Yeah, I meant like what kind of coffee do you want?It’s okay to be nervous, we know people are often harassed or doxxed for having opinions that might seem radical or left-of-center.No, it’s just that, okay, I’m just trying to do my job here and I don’t really have time to talk to you about what some idiots have to say about baristas on Facebook or whatever. Are you going to order a drink or not?Do you guys have the pumpkin spice lattes?Yes, our fall menu is currently active. Would you like one?No. Julia, do you feel like this characterization of blue-haired baristas not being “real workers” is fair based on your experience?Well, no. The idea that our job is easy or not real work is insulting and we have to hear that crap every day. Just because I’m not digging oil wells or paving roads or whatever doesn’t mean we have it easy, and it really doesn’t justify paying us next-to-nothing. I’d for real love for any one of those dicks to come in here and try to handle just one morning rush. We’d need a wet floor sign for the trail of piss they’d leave as they ran out the door.Excellent! What would you say to politicians or corporate figures in the media who use workers like you as a scapegoat for why the economy is so bad?Yeah, that’s obvious bullcrap, but seriously, mister, you’re going to get me in trouble. Can you just order something? I’m not supposed to talk about this stuff and the line’s getting way backed up.Fine, I will have a pumpkin spice latte. Grande. That’s the biggest one, right?No, that would be the venti.Eh, grande’s fine. Extra shot please. And a slice of that lemon cake thing.You got it. Anything else?Actually, I will take a venti. With almond milk please.Oh my god…. Okay, got it. Can I have your name please?Can you just write on the cup “I give The Serving Times full permission to quote me and use my words in any way they see fit” and then sign it?That’s it, I’m getting the manager. Wait, did you just take my picture?Also, you’ll need to sign a photo release.Todd! Can you come out here please!?

While our interview was cut short, it’s easy to see that blue-haired baristas with pronouns and tattoos are indeed workers just like the rest of us and deserve their fair share of the profits their labor brings in. They’re also just trying to do their job and if you disturb them at work Todd will come out and force you to leave while the people in line clap. Also, I never got my latte.