Parental Silence

The Serving Times can now confirm that Douglas Reed, father of the three children now actively destroying your department, is ready to intercede at any moment according to several sources at the scene.

To recap, the Reed family entered your department several minutes ago during a routine shopping excursion. Soon after, Margie, the mother of the brood, went off in search of a particular item leaving the three little imps in the care of Douglas. Since then, Douglas has been scrolling on his phone and half-heartedly asking his children to behave without looking up to see if they’re obeying or even close enough to hear him speak.

Meanwhile, his three kids; Bethany (8), Thaniel (6), and Aspen (5); have been wreaking havoc in your area completely unchecked from the very second their mother was out of sight. Among their youthful shenanigans, the Reed kids have pushed several sections of stock to the very back of their shelves, pelted each other with merchandise without picking any of it up, and knocked over an impulse standee by ramming it with a shopping cart.

That whole time, Douglas barely looked up from his phone. That is until now. But not really now, more like imminently. We assume.

“Oh, there’s a storm brewing for sure,” says Nancy Fairbanks, who’s shopping nearby. “I saw him look up from his phone just now and the look on his face said he’s fed up with this misbehavior and as soon as he’s done with his tweet or whatever he’s doing these kids are gonna get it!”

“It’s definitely about to go down,” says customer Peter Richards. “Just a second ago I heard him ask one of the kids if they wanted him to count to ten. That’s when kids know they’re in real trouble, when the counting starts! So once he does actually start counting you better believe those kids’ll fall in line real fast!”

“Those kids' asses are grass,” says another shopper, “and he’s seriously considering maybe getting out the lawn mower!”

“We had ice cream before coming here!” says Bethany Reed, a fact we can confirm via the dried chocolate still on her face. “I ate three scoops and now I have the tummy gurgles!”

With shelves of stock in disarray, merchandise strewn throughout the area, and a fresh puddle of chocolatey vomit on the floor, it seems the time has come for Douglas Reed to finally intervene. Or at least give it some more very strong consideration.

While it’s clear that Douglas would have stepped in and handled the situation eventually, his hand is forced by the sound of breaking glass as young Aspen has now pushed multiple articles off their shelf and onto the floor like a less cute version of an obnoxious cat, breaking some glass in the process.

“Okay, that’s it!” says Douglas, putting his phone in his pocket. “You kids–”

Margie Reed has now appeared from around the corner and asks “Everything alright?”

“Oh yeah,” says Douglas, “everything’s fine, no problems here!”

“Wow, this place is a mess!” says Margie just loud enough for you to hear it. “Think they’d try to keep this place a little cleaner while they have customers in the store!”

“Yeah, let's get out of here” says Douglas. “This place closes in like five minutes. Come on kids!”

Well, it looks like the situation in your department has resolved itself at a win-win as Douglas Reed didn’t have to discipline his own children and you finally get a few minutes to clean up this mess before your manager comes down to ask why you’re department isn’t in-shape-as-new yet so everyone can go home. Seriously though, you probably shouldn’t let things get this bad before you do something about it. Now get mopping!