Pause for Defect

Retail worker Shawna Clarkson has been asked a question by a rude customer, say sources at the scene. The forthcoming answer and the attitude with which it is given depend entirely on how well she can get by without the meager income her job provides.

Clarkson, a merchandiser/salesperson at a big-box retailer in Elizabeth, NJ, was approached by a customer as she was working in the kitchenware department, witnesses confirm. Although in reality he didn't so much approach her as he was mostly shouting to anyone who might be in the vicinity to drop whatever they were doing to come assist him in a tone that implied emergency.

“WHERE ARE THE STEAK KNIVES!?” shouted the customer, a fully-grown adult man in the midst of the kind of hissy one would expect from a cranky toddler in want of a nap and his sippy cup.

When Clarkson, who had followed the sounds of the customer’s screams to come to his aid, arrived on the scene the customer angrily repeated his query: “Where the hell do you people hide the friggin' steak knives!?”

The customer would go on to refer to the store as “a ridiculous place” and that Shawna should “really make it easier to find things”.

There is currently no evidence supporting the notion that Shawna Clarkson has anything to do with the store’s layout.

At press time, Clarkson stands fixedly in front of the customer, considering her response carefully. It would be easy to point out the signs indicating where certain groups of items, like flatware, might be located or even manually guide him to his desired purchase. However, it would be equally simple to let the customer know what a total asshole he’s being and tell him exactly where he can stick any one of the many kitchen gadgets available in the immediate area.

The answer of course depends entirely on how badly she needs to retain this job.

“She should tell him to F-O,” says Clarkson’s coworker James Tillman. “I’d hate to see her get fired, but she’d walk out of here a total legend!”

“That definitely wouldn’t be in line with our values,” says floor supervisor Claudia Jones, “Like I understand the temptation, but it's hard out there right now. No customer is worth your job.”

“They really should make it easier to find things here!” adds customer Gloria Fineman, whom nobody asked.

While Clarkson’s hesitation is only expected to last a moment, one could only imagine the raging debate and plethora of scenarios playing out in her mind during the time it takes for her to open her mouth to answer. Objectively, such a human would benefit from being told exactly where he could go and what he might insert into himself while he’s at it in addition to the satisfaction Clarkson would feel from saying so. But when weighed against the possibility of losing one’s livelihood, it may not seem such a great idea to do so.

Finally, the proverbial moment of truth arrives.

“You know what?” says Clarkson at long last. “Why don’t you just go fu– Oh shit, he left.”

True, in the time it took her to formulate her answer (which was clearly going to be “Why don’t you just go find them in the silverware aisle, I’ll help!”) the customer lost his patience and stormed off, most likely to head to some other unfortunate store associate to put them in the same position.

As the dust settles on this moment of hesitancy, Clarkson reflects on what might have transpired one way or another. She informs us that she is relieved that she gets to retain her job but also regrets the fact that she has to keep coming to work.