Missin' Impossible

Ever since the covid-19 pandemic started, one subject comes up again and again in the business news sphere: working from home. Never did we think we could see a scenario where a retail employee could potentially work from home, but one big-box retailer is willing to take a chance and see what happens.

Keith Cumberdale, manager at the Colorado Springs flagship location for big box retailer Kessler’s All-In-One, was more than happy to take corporate’s offer to let him ditch his suit for his most comfy of pajamas.

“This is great,” says Cumberdale via Zoom from his new home office. “I got access to everything on the intranet. I can do schedules, balance payroll, check in on everyone on Teams, and even see what’s happening in real time through the surveillance cameras!”

We asked what happens when workers at the store have an issue that requires a manager’s intervention.

“Well, we still have assistant managers and sales leaders on the floor,” says Cumberdale, “and I’m always just a chat request or text message away. Whatever they need from me I can provide from here!

“Besides,” adds Cumberdale, “while I’m sure my presence is missed, my staff is more than capable of handling anything that might happen.”

We checked in with the staff at Cumberdale’s store to see just how they were faring without their leader.

“Yeah, we’ve been doing pretty good,” says sales leader Kathy Benedetto. “I haven’t seen Mr. Cumberdale on the sales floor today, but he’s probably just up in his office.”

Um, he doesn’t work at the store anymore, he’s working from home now.

“Yeah,” says Benedetto, “okay. That’s a good one.”

“Mr. Cumberdale’s not here?” asks assistant manager Denise Novie. “That started today or something?”

No, it’s been like over a week!

“Ha ha ha, no way!”

Floor-level employees are also feeling the loss of Mr. Cumberdale’s presence throughout the store.

“I don’t think so,” says cashier supervisor Jennifer Gurza. “I’m pretty sure I saw him up in the admin suite yesterday.”

“Okay, if you say so,” says merchandiser Mark Linares. “Not sure how that affects me. Now, can you move? I need to get this pallet over to clearance.”

“The guy from Dr. Strange?” asks stock associate Tim Skidmore. “No, I haven’t seen him. I didn’t even know he shopped here. Doesn’t he live in England?”

“Are you sure he’s not here?” asks sales associate Louis Haggerty. “I only ask because I got a pissed off customer waiting for him in cookware.”

Well, it certainly seems as if Cumberdale’s absence is sorely felt, but things seem to be going swimmingly with this new arrangement. As All-In-One assesses the situation and moves forward with this new work-from-home program, we’re sure more stores will sadly miss their day-to-day interactions with their store managers.

“For real though,” asks Kathy Benedetto as we depart, “he really hasn’t been in all week?”

We can only hope they find some way to cope.

Update: Upon learning of the resounding success of their work-from-home experiment, the All-In-One corporate office ordered Keith Cumberdale to return to the store and stated that the results were “good to know” and never spoke of letting anyone work from home ever again.