Moot Dreams

Recently hired retail worker Brayden Collins is settling into his new work routines even though he assures his new coworkers that he won’t be working there very long as he's sure to move on to bigger and better things before too long.

Yes, the ambitious new merchandiser at Lakeland, Florida retailer Priced Less says his stint at the store is strictly temporary.

“Oh yeah, this is just a short-time gig for me,” Collins tells us and anyone else who’ll listen. “I got big plans in California. My uncle’s holding a pretty lucrative job for me there, I just need to save up some money for the move and a few months rent while I get set up.”

When confronted with the fact that a merchandiser’s salary may not be adequate enough for such a dream, Collins reassures us that we don’t know what we’re talking about.

“If I just live on the cheap,” he says, “and invest half my pay in stocks and stuff then I should be on my way in no time!”

While his optimism and gumption is to be admired, Collins’s coworkers are skeptical.

“I’ve been here a long time,” says long-time floor supervisor Dennis Barnes, “just over ten years in fact. And let me tell you, we get Braydens through here all the time. ‘Oh, I’m gonna be famous’, ‘I’m gonna be a millionaire’, ‘I’m gonna marry some old rich lady’. I’ve heard it all.”

And did any of those people ever make it in their endeavors? 

“Well,” says Barnes, “some of them are still here. Others made good on their promise that the job would be temporary, but not because they were madly successful or banged their way into a sweet inheritance. No, this is the kind of place dreams come to restock shelves, bus some cardboard, and die.

“Take me for example,” he continues. “I came here saying I was going to go back to school and become an accountant and maybe even a CFO eventually. Look at me now. I made it all the way to floor supervisor before this place shattered my hopes and dreams like that fish bowl some kid just knocked off the shelf over in pet supplies!”

Other Priced Less coworkers don’t speak in as harsh terms as Barnes, but they still lack any sense of optimism for Brayden Collins’s chances.

“He’s a sweet kid,” says cashier Ann Alvarez, “but he ain’t going nowhere, I promise you that. Like when I first came here I was writing a business plan to open my own nail salon, but that didn’t stop me from digging myself into a hole right in front of this here register.”

“It’s just facts,” says returns team lead Bryant Sutcliffe. “Sorry, but it's damn near impossible to climb up from the bottom. It’s like when I wanted to be a film director but you can't even get a job moving lights or tweezing Ben Stiller's eyebrows without being Kathleen Kennedy’s nephew or something.”

“It’s fine, man,” says Danny Mercado of the electronics department. “Not everyone’s gonna fly jets like I wanted to. Some of us gotta sell TVs and clear shopping carts out the lot and that’s fine, nothing wrong with giving up on life!”

Despite the naysayings of these naysayers, Brayden Collins is undeterred in his insistence that greatness awaits him.

“I get it, I really do,” says floor supervisor Dennis Barnes. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with having your head in the clouds, it’s just like, uh, you know, come live down here with your feet on this cold, concrete floor with cardboard cuts all over your hands and a lungful of the mop water stink and, um… actually, where was I going with that?”

Even as Barnes loses his train of thought, his meaning is clear. It’s true that even the author of this article once dreamt of penning the great American novel and still has an external hard drive full of notes and beginnings of all the stories he would tell once he finally buckled down, honed his voice, and wrote them all. But now here he is, writing clickbait about how this one kid is a fool to dream and how he should just give up now and accept that life will never be any less shitty than it is right now because that’s just how it is for working people.

“I mean, that’s not what I was saying,” says Barnes. “At least I don’t think so. No, I can’t already be that jaded, can I?”

“Nuh-uh, you know what?” adds cashier Ann Alvarez. “You let that boy dream if he wants!”

“That’s right!,” says Bryant Sutcliffe of the returns department. “We just may read Brayden’s name in the Forbes one day just like he says!”

“It could happen!” pipes-in Danny Mercado from electronics, “You don’t know! It’s not really that far fetched!”

“Maybe all that’s true,” says Barnes, “and maybe it isn’t, but who the hell am I to say this kid can’t dream of something better than what we got? So go ahead, Brayden, and maybe one day you really will break up outta this place and be some big shot out there in California. So you keep on dreaming those big dreams of yours, just, uh, maybe go sweep up that broken fish bowl in the pets department while you do.”