Raider of the Lost Markdown

It’s one of those epic flash sales, the kind that only comes around once every few months depending on how bad net profits are looking. Diane Jones, bargain hunter extraordinaire, searches for the best markdowns on stuff she kind of might want to buy. Little does she know that she’s about to pick up the bargain of an afternoontime.

“Did you see all those idiots at the front of the store,” says Jones as we walk the big-box retailer’s aisles together, “crowding the clearance section? It would be all well and good if this were a clearance sale, but it’s not. They’re shopping in the wrong place!”

Diane Jones prides herself on her ability to always sniff out the biggest deals.

“No, the real bargains are going to be scattered throughout the store," explains Jones, "and if you want to save big you have to hunt them down. They call it a ‘flash sale’, but when you see a sale based on percentage off, you might as well call it ‘bait and switch’. See that banner there?”

She points to a sales communication banner hanging from the ceiling of the kitchenware department promising up to 75% off select merchandise.

“It’s always ‘up to’ or ‘select’ items,” she says, “because they know most people only see the number. Once they’re here, they’re bound to buy something, sale or no.

“There is a lot on sale here,” Jones continues, “but nothing anywhere near the deep discount they imply. Look at this,” she indicates some nearby merchandise. “Oven mitts look to be ten percent off. These ugly napkins, twenty percent at most. Let's take a look at the dinner plates…."

We walk over to the dinnerware aisle, and Diane spies a set of ivory-white plates and bowls pushed to the very back of the shelf. She pulls it out for a closer look.

“Not bad actually,” she observes. “Porcelain. Would be good for entertaining guests. What’s the price?”

The price label on the shelf indicated the plates are $17.49, marked down from $69.99.

Diane pulled out her phone and opened the calculator app. Her jaw dropped and she did the math two more times before she’d let herself believe it.

“No, it can’t be,” she said, eyes wide. “These plates are seventy-five percent off.”

We spoke with sales manager Paul Elliot on the "bait and switch" sales tactic as well as Diane Jones's rare find.

"There are plenty of items in the store with deep, deep discounts," laughs Elliot. "I assure you, we wouldn't stoop to such underhanded or dishonest sales techniques. Now, what article exactly does this customer have in her cart?"

We explain the white dinnerware set Diane found at the back of the shelf.

“White porcelain dinnerware set?” asks Elliot. “Hmmm. Well that’s certainly something. If you’ll excuse me, I actually have an unrelated matter to discuss with my merchandisers.”

We caught back up with Diane Jones around the cash register lines, and she seemed somewhat distraught and without her shopping cart.

“They came up while I was distracted by the twenty-five percent off wicker baskets,” she explains. “They must’ve found out I had the plates and sent an employee to steal my cart!”

We asked why a store employee would go through the trouble of preventing Diane from buying the plate set.

“Because,” she explains, “as long as there’s one item in the store marked down seventy-five percent, the sales banners are accurate. If that item were to leave the store, they’d be guilty of false advertising.

“They’re around here somewhere,” Diane says, craning her neck to see over the crowd.

Suddenly, her arm raises and she points to a store employee pushing a u-cart full of random merchandise, the dinnerware set included, towards an "EMPLOYEES ONLY" door.

“Over there! Quick, before they leave the sales floor!"

Diane sprints through the crowd, dodging other customers’ carts, spinning past possibly sticky children, and even hopping over a flat-cart loaded with rugs. She gets to the merchandiser just before she has a chance to take the go-backs off the floor.

“Excuse me,” Diane says, “but what do you think you’re doing with those plates?”

“I’m just taking them to the restock area,” says the merchandiser, whose name tag identifies as Belle.

“They belong in my kitchen hutch!” Diane responds.

“Um, okay,” says Belle, “I’m just trying to do my job here.”

Diane puts a hand on the u-cart and begins to tip it.

“Oh my god,” exclaims Belle, “What are you doing!?”

“Wouldn’t it be a shame,” says Diane, “if they were to fall and break? I imagine they’d have to be transferred out of stock as damaged. So not only would you lose the sale, but the store’s sale would still be voided.”

“Lady,” says Belle, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It appears,” says Diane, “that we’re at a stalemate. I'd hate for you to have to tell your manager you let the only seventy-five percent off merchandise slip through your fingers. Your move, Belle.”

“Geez,” says Belle, “if you want to buy them just take them. One less thing for me to restock anyway.”

Diane reclaims the plate set from Belle’s u-cart. “That’s what I thought.”

As we walk back towards the cash registers, Belle can be heard to remark “These bargain hunters get crazier every sale.”

Diane Jones is finally able to get her coveted dinnerware set to a cash register.

“They really don’t make it easy,” says Diane, “but if you really want to save money, this is what they put you through.”

The cashier scans the plates, which show on the screen priced at $69.99.

“I’m sorry,” says Diane, “but those plates were priced at $17.49. Look, I have a picture.”

Diane shows a picture of the price label to the cashier, adding to me “They always pull this. Like I said, it’s a bait and switch.”

The cashier looks at the picture and calls the merchandisers for a price check. After a little back-and-forth over the phone, the cashier addresses Diane.

“So you have the ivory plates,” he says. “The price label in the picture is for the bone white.”

Diane scoffs. “What’s the difference?”

“They’re two different colors,” says the cashier. “Unfortunately, the ivory aren’t part of the sale.”

“Well,” says Diane, “can you have someone bring a bone set up here?”

The cashier again makes a call to the merchandise team. We can distinctly hear the person on the other end say “Is it that lady with the dish set again?”

“I’m sorry,” says the cashier after ending the call, “but they can’t seem to find any on the sales floor.”

“Okay,” says Diane. “I’d like to speak to the manager.”

After waiting a few minutes, sales manager Paul Elliot arrives at the cash register.

“I’m sorry,” says Elliot. “While the system IS showing two in stock, they don’t appear to be in their sales location.”

“Well, that’s just perfect,” says Diane. “Can you have someone check the back please?”

“We will be, I assure you,” says Elliot. “We have top merchandisers checking the back for it right now.”

“Whom?” asks Diane.

Elliot looks Diane Jones in the eye. “Top. Merchandisers.”