Saddle Sore

There’s a prevalent axiom often heard in the social media sphere surrounding chronically oppressed white males: “You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today”. Well one courageous filmmaker is doing just that in an attempt to prove the naysayers wrong. Or right. Honestly, we don’t know why he’s doing it, but in the end he’ll either disprove the axiom or inadvertently un-disprove it.

“The woke mob is out to destroy the film industry,” says Joel Bombeck, aspiring director and founder of the Gadsden Films production company. “It's like you can't say anything anymore!”

For those who don’t know, Blazing Saddles, the film Bombeck hopes to remake, is a 1974 slapstick comedy by Mel Brooks starring Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder. In the film, a corrupt politician appoints a black sheriff in order to ruin a small, western town for his own profit only to see his plan backfire as the sheriff turns out to be surprisingly effective. The movie is meant to be a spoof of the western genre as well as a satire of racism. We’re not sure why they cling to this film either.

“I mean, it shouldn't be a career death sentence for a white filmmaker to use the N word,” adds Bombeck, interrupting our next question which had nothing to do with what racial slurs he's allowed to use. “It's all just cancel culture run amok! I should be able to say what I want!”

We offered up the idea that he already is free to use whatever words he wants, as ugly as they could be, but that sometimes using those words have societal consequences that are impossible for the first amendment to protect him from. For our trouble, he called us “Rachel Maddow” and invited us to “take that shit back to your cubicle at NPR”.

“It honestly started out as a joke,” says Bud Hardgrove, a friend of Bombeck credited as one of the production’s producers. “We were watching the movie and I was like ‘there’s no way they’d let you make this movie today’ and Beck was all ‘yeah, we should totally remake this just to bunch up the shitlib’s panties’ and I said ‘yeah, totally’ but not serious at all, but then he went and put it up on a crowdsourcing site and some big accounts retweeted it and since we took all that money now we kind of have to.”

But again, why Blazing Saddles? For more insight on why this particular movie has a reputation of being un-remakable we spoke to Chloe Amit who hosts The Damsel Cast, a movie rewatch podcast that critiques older movies through the lens of modern propriety.

“I have no idea why they’ve latched onto Blazing Saddles as the movie to demonstrate their point,” says Amit. “Yeah, there’s some stuff that might turn off modern parents, but the movie is rated R for a reason. There’s a joke about sexual assault in there and some outdated racial stereotypes, but nothing that makes it unwatchable by today’s standards. Honestly, anyone who doesn’t think this film has a place in a modern viewing rotation probably just doesn’t understand the satire. It actually fits in pretty well in today’s zeitgeist.”

Chloe Amit, perhaps one of the most woke film critics out there, says the movie is “pretty funny.”

“Really, it’s just another case of them thinking the racism is the joke instead of the reality which is that the racists are being mocked,” concludes Amit.

We asked why she thinks Gadsden Films would want to remake this movie today to prove some point about how woke everything is.

“They’re definitely just looking for an excuse to use the slurs,” says Amit. “They’re obsessed with that crap.”

While it may seem that there really is nothing standing in the way of remaking this comedy classic, the reality is that, meh, maybe you can’t as we were soon contacted by Bombeck to say that the “woke mob” was “canceling” their production of Blazing Saddles.

“Well, those lib cucks are trying to shut us down,” says Bombeck. “I shouldn't be surprised since this pretty much proves our point, but it still really sucks that they have to reject anything that doesn't conform to their woke little snowflake worldview.”

Apropos of nothing, Joel Bombeck and Gadsden Films have called for the boycott of 16 movies and TV shows this last year for issues ranging from works containing a queer character to those containing a non-white character and everything in between.

Speaking of social media boycotts, we were unable to find any evidence of Bombeck’s production being boycotted, canceled, or even talked about. In fact, it seems that the “lib cucks” who constantly oppress and bully conservative filmmakers like himself aren't even aware the Blazing Saddles remake is happening at all. So, we asked, what gives?

“They sent us this letter,” says Bombeck, “to try to scare us off. These left-wing thugs’ only tactic is threats and intimidation.”

After studying the letter we inform Bombeck, who fancies himself a filmmaker mind you, that the letter from his “left-wing thugs” is actually a cease and desist notice from Warner Brothers studios as Gadsden Films has failed to procure the rights to Blazing Saddles, a movie they wish to remake shot-for-shot for profit.

You do realize, we ask, that you can’t just take someone else’s intellectual property and sell it as your own, right?

“That’s just what the woke liberal media wants you to think!” says Bombeck, “and we’re not going to let them rewrite the laws just to stop us from saying the– from, uh, making this movie!”

Well that just goes to show that you really couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today. At least without the express consent of WarnerMedia and Mel Brooks you can’t. And also because that movie’s already been made by competent filmmakers.

Update:

Upon hearing of their legal woes, The Daily Wire contacted Gadsden Films and informed them that in order to make their movie they need to change it just enough to avoid the copyright infringement. And also to cram it full of political ideology devoid of any kind of satire, irony, or jokes. I don’t really think you need to do that last part but Daily Wire insists it’s an integral part of the movie-making process, so who am I to question the methods of the visionaries behind such hits as Lady Ballers and probably some other things I just can’t think of right now.

[Editor’s note: Did they do the thing about how they don’t know what a woman is? That sounds like them.]

So anyway, we hope you’re ready to laugh (and not at them as they asked us to specify) next summer when The DEI Deputy of Stone Creek hits like four theaters and then streams on Daily Wire+ where it will be viewed by perhaps dozens of people.

Here’s a quick synopsis from The Daily Wire’s press release:

Oh boy, I can’t wait to see that! And by “that” I mean the critique video by Cody Johnston or Nick Diramio that’s longer than the actual movie but less of a waste of time.