She's Gotta Have It

Multiple sources within your store are confirming that the customer asking for that one “out-of-stock” item knows for a fact you have it somewhere and you just don’t want to get it for her. Why you have chosen to be so difficult instead of making the effort to keep your customers happy has yet to be determined.

Abigail Petrakis is a regular customer at your store and, according to her, has been nothing but courteous and patient with you people every time she visits.

“I’m always very polite to everyone,” says Patrakis. “It doesn’t matter to me if you work in customer service or if you have a real job, I treat everyone just the same!”

Abigail assures us that she always leaves an impression with the staff of the businesses she patronizes, whether it be saying “you too” when a movie theater usher tells her to enjoy her show or leaving a “fair” tip appropriate to the level of service received (up to 15% for the rare occasion of absolutely exceptional service, she assures us).

Considering all that, it seems odd that you would refuse to help her when she’s making such a reasonable request.

“I went up to the employee,” Patrakis tells us, “and asked where the red plaid tablecloths were. You see, I’m having guests over this weekend and I need that particular table cloth as it matches the rest of my decor.”

Patrakis was not thrilled when you told her the red plaid tablecloths were out of stock.

“I wasn’t thrilled to hear the red plaid tablecloths were out of stock,” she says. “It clearly says on the website that there are still two remaining in stock. I asked the employee to go find them as I’m having guests over this weekend but they keep saying it’s been out of stock for a couple of weeks and supply issues, blah blah blah, all I was asking was for them to look!”

While it’s completely understandable to think you know your department better than a computer program or someone who doesn’t spend half their life restocking, fronting, and cleaning up said department, you also need to ask yourself the question of why the web site would say it’s in stock when it’s not and why you’d imply that one of your customers is a liar.

“I am not a liar!”

Oh great, now she thinks you think she’s a liar. Good going.

“Listen,” continues Patrakis, “I just want the tablecloth that I know you have in stock. You can check either check the back or you can go ahead and get me the manager. All I know is I’m having guests over this weekend and I NEED the red plaid tablecloth, and I know it’s here!”

So as Abigail Patrakis, who is apparently having guests over this weekend, now hovers in your vicinity despite your manager’s assertion that “If it was here, we’d have found it”, it’s clear that you just don’t care about your customers enough to take them at their word, even in the face their glaring wrongness, and make an effort to–

Wait, did you seriously just find it under the shelf? Fuck, she’s going to be absolutely insufferable now. Good going, idiot.