The Great Rebranding

In recent weeks, President Trump’s new reign has oscillated between horrifying and ridiculous as he shapes our country into the one he imagines in his rapidly deteriorating brain and distracts us from whatever the fuck God-Emperor Musk is doing with his boy army behind the scenes. One thing on the ridiculous side is a trade war with longtime American ally Canada which, so far, more closely resembles two children calling each other names from opposite sides of a playground fence.

Yes, even though Trump has temporarily halted his proposed tariffs on Canadian imports, our neighbors to the north continue to respond by boycotting American-made products, encouraging residents to “buy Canadian”, and even removing the “American” from the name of certain staples such as American cheese. We agree, it is confusing because Canada is still in the continent of North America and therefore an American country, but whatever.

As history unravels before us and we pass back through the “freedom fries” era, the Trump administration has of course begun to retaliate.